oh, & i leave you ..

with a quote;

"we are all in the gutter...
but some of us are looking at the stars"

holler =).

- nick.

man oh man..

well sitting up on my futon.. im thinking about everything that has happened in my life, that might happen.. how people act.. so on and so forth.. and I've come to realize how good of a friend I actually am. and how fake people can be.. I pride myself on being real, and some of this fake ass shit I can't understand. why be anyone but yourself? wouldn't that add extra stress on your life since your trying to keep up this fasaad? hmm.. and another thing I don't understand is LIARS! not like "the dog ate my homework.." kind of liars, the liars that lie to actual people about their feelings, and their wrong doings.. and doings in general.. do they not realize that everything done in the dark eventually comes to light, and they are going to hurt the other person? ugh. disgusting when I think about it..

im really ready for some change in this bitch. but I don't know where to start.. because im the only one that can make the change..
& sometimes, I think some people take my kindness for weakness. and you know what I think im done with all that. im going to start putting myself first, for whatever reason I haven't been.. soo yeah. mufuckass might take it as being "brand new" but hey.. we don't want it unless its brand new isshh =).

- nick.

p.s; the dream's cd comes out march 10th, and he is the shit so cop that

bj is the best

well these are the betsey johnson earrings im currently lusting after *sigh* i WILL have them lol, they are much too fly to pass up

diiiiizzzzaaaaam

soo. yeah. today is miss ri ri's birthday. poor ri ri. at first i lauged bout this. but damn, look at this girls face. he beat the shit outta her & BIT HER! like what did she do to make him want to bite her?? horrible. but happy birthday giir.

this poem is the truth . .

'TO ALL THE BOYS I'VE LOVED BEFORE'
by Mayda Del Valle

to all the boys I've loved before

part one:
we are not your mothers
you have been weaned from the breast of a woman for years
yet you come to us
woundedand half filled with promises you can only keep half the time
trying to suck lost sense of self drywe have become much too accustomed
to sleepless nights
and damp pillows
have become much too accustomed
to waiting for our empty beds
to be weighed downby the bodies of men
heavywith the scent and the hands of other women
and we
simply wanting to be loved
and to love ourselves unconditionally
simply wanting the truth
of whether you can truly love us or not
play hester prynn
place scarlet letters on our chests
become adulteressesc
heating ourselves
out of what we truly deserve
willing to settle for less
willing to act like a little less than a goddess
willing to sleep with the enemy
men
too scared to stop acting like boys
thinking we can love away their scars
so we take the lashes
of the insecurities they pour on usand lick our wounds in quiet mourning
for the little girls
that we lose by the minute

part two:
you said you had a photographic memory
but apparently you forgot
that honesty
begins with being real with yourself
and the ones you claim you love
the truth
cannot be hidden
what's clouded in darkness
will always come to light
my lovey
ou should have known that
claiming you saw my light so clearlyand brightlyI guess shit happens
I just wish it wasn't me
and I guess
it's so much better
to have loved and lost
then never to have loved at all
I know that's some easy shit to say
but I'm still gonna try to live by it
I'm still gonna try to put my faith in it
I will sleep on dry pillows now
in a bed big enough to love myself in it
I will awake
these coming mornings
with my eyes dry
and shining full of the knowledge
I am priceless
and worth nothing but honesty
I will remove
the scarlet letter from my chest
and take the hand
of a little girl I used to beand say, 'I'm sorry' to her
I'm sorry for cheating you out of the joy you have always deserved
and I will wait for a man
to come along
that can give me the truth
of how much he can really love me.....

well hello blog

yes, im in this bitch..

its been a long time comin'

ill be back shortly